This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.
Check out these Kawaii Skeleton Kitties Pendants. Their bone game is strong. Even purr-fect. I didn’t think that cats could be any more adorable, but I was wrong. (Behind the scenes peek. I accidentally typed “I was wong” at first. I am not and nor have I ever been wong. Not Mr. or Dr. Wong and I know I’m not wrong. Everybody Wang-Chung!) Anywho, these pendants are the kitty’s t**tties. Totes Adorbs. Like OMG!
I love these Anatomy Pocket Notebooks cuz I can put my heart in my pocket, along with my bones, my lungs. Carrying a pocket book doesn’t make me any less of a man does it? Nope, your two inch weenie is what makes you less of a man. How dare you! It’s called shrinkage. I had just gotten out of the pool. A pool of my own pee, but still. I have a weak bladder. Anyway, these anatomy books are awesome. They have anatomy and guts and stuff.
This Vampyres Tarot Card Deck is full of vampires. Apparently it’s made by vampires, for vampires. Which probably means that the death card is replaced by garlic. Use these as a tool to divine the future. If you are a creature of the night, use them to determine where your next meal is coming from and who it may be. I hope it’s not me. I eat garlic every night, just so you know. I also wear like ten crosses on me at all times and carry a stake. Wait, I spelled that wrong. I carry a steak. I’m always hungry.
So a UFO showed up on the news again. While the 3 blondes and a bald dude do there robot news talk, a flash appears in the sky, then a pair of lights streak across the sky on the big screen behind them on the city’s skyline. That’s the big news in Oregon, but in even stranger news, I can’t stop looking at the slow-mo footage of that saucy blonde anchor fem-bot’s vacant face. Looks like something does not compute and her circuits are overheating. BTW is that Al Roker? Nah, just a discount version. Al Broker. Ha ha ha. Not that you can get much more discount than Al MK Ultra Roker.
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