Welcome to my nightmare. What kind of nightmare? A Nightmare Before Christmas of course. It’s March biatch! Speaking of bad dreams, check out this Nightmare Before Christmas Jewelry Box. Oooo la la. So Tim Burton! This cool accessory stands 16 inches tall, but it will stand much taller in your heart.
Anddddd that’s enough internet for today. This nightmare inducing Baby Vampire Demon Doll video has everyone freaking out, jumping out of tall buildings, screaming and clutching their hair, and setting their laptops and smartphones on fire in the hopes that it will kill this monstrosity. I torched my laptop too. That’s why I have to share this from a public computer in the library. Since I’ve been here, I already saw one neck-beard crying and rocking back and forth when he pulled this gem up.
This nightmarish toy sits propped atop a grave with a baby bottle filled with red blood, sitting next to it. Also, the eyes follow the camera everywhere as a terrifying soundtrack plays. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go steal neckbeard’s wallet while he’s stunned.
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Check out this Life Size Alien Chestburster Statue.
Oh man, I don’t feel so good. Must have been something I ate. I think I’m just gonna lie down over- AHHHHHHH! Something’s ripping up my insides and for once it’s not a fart. OH GOD! OH GOD! *Alien bursts out of my chest* Are you as surprised to see me as I am to see you? Cool. Technically you’re my kid you know. I just gave birth to you. And I want to thank you for being considerate enough to not burst out of my rectum. *Kisses his slimy head, then it bites my face off*
This Ouija Board Table is perfect for any evening when you want to have dinner and a seance. In any order you prefer. Make sure you drink some spirits with your meal. Just don’t drink real spirits. That’s called possession. Which is nine-tenths of the law, but also a horrifying ordeal. So don’t do it. Also make sure you hover the planchette over GOODBYE after every meal, when you get up. It’s just good manners.
One word, four syllables. DI-A-BEET-US. American cereals will kill ya, what with all of that new-fangled die-fructose and all. These cereals are Cereal Killers, with killer mascots. So while they’ll put ya in the hospital, at least ya have something to collect with this 12 Ron English Cereal Killers Mini-Figures Set.
This series includes:
1x Cap’n Cornstarch
1x Sugar Frosted Fat
1x Yucky Children Charmer
1x Sugar Smack
1x Franken Fat
1x Count Calorie
1x Froot Looped
1x Obesie O’s
1x Coco Puffed Paunch
1x Sugar Diabetic Bear
The obesity is strong with these toys.