10 Terrifying And Toothy Items You Can Buy On Etsy
Teeth. Why do so many Etsy sellers make things from or about teeth? Why so obsessed? Ya’ll are gross. I said that all southern like to make my point. You guys are just nasty. Click through for a bunch of freaky teeth related Etsy finds that you can really sink your teeth into.
How about a denture bracelet? It’s like having your grandpappy’s teeth around your wrist all day long. Etsy seller ConcaveOblivion has an entire shop devoted to denture themed products.
Human Teeth Bracelet. No, that’s not creepy at all. I wonder if you still need to brush them. Bracelets get dirty, whether they are made from teeth or not. I would use Crest, then give them a Listerine bath. Now you are good to wear it and it shines.
Not a Crest kid I take it. No judgments. I don’t really care, but your breath smells like a trash truck on a summer day.
Meet Tonya the tongue. NOW I get why people brush their tongue. I guess mine haven’t come in yet. I had no idea that could happen. I have bitten my tongue a hundred times and never once had it bite me back. That’s probably why I talk so funny. Also, probably why the short bus tends to stop for me and why old people smile and pet my head.
This one is simply called “Tina”. This is a good visual of how I feel whenever I do something stupid. It just looks like some guy that has lived right next to a nuclear power plant for 60 years.
Holy genetically engineered corn. This 14″ vinyl doll has been transformed into the Monsanto Monster. The seller says that “polymer clay is used and sealed with a heavy polymer coating so his teeth can survive what Monsanto puts on his plate.” That ain’t me. I eat healthy. All my food is high in fructose and artificial dyes. If it was going to kill me, the government wouldn’t let me eat it. Duh! GMOs just put hair on your chest. Coarse werewolf hair that glows and seems to rise and sway all on it’s own during full moons, but still.
What is it with Etsy sellers and teeth? I would wear this hat just to scare folks, but then I would have to feed it. It’s like having a pet snake. Probably takes a small rodent every few hours. Too much responsibility. Plus, after digestion, it would just poop the bones on your head.
It’s Munchie! Obviously. What else are you going to call it? His pearly whites will strip your leg of flesh in seconds. Do NOT want!
Goblin teeth. Because they can’t eat ya if they are missing their choppers. Probably found on some dungeon floor after an epic battle.
Real Human Molar Pendant Necklace. These are the perfect accessory for your next “Demented Dentist” cabal meeting. You probably need to shake them at each other when you meet at the door. Sick whackos.