alien capsuleYou’ve probably seen your neighbors cow get abducted or saw some funny lights in the sky when you were trippin balls one night, so it’s no wonder that you are afraid of Aliens. They have been known to poke and prod anuses while they laugh among themselves. Maybe it’s time you confronted your fear and got yourself an alien in a capsule.

You could display it in your home and freak the f**k out of everyone, also insuring that your already slim number of friends abandon you and never visit again. Or maybe you can remove him from his capsule and give him a good probing. Turn the tables on this intergalactic dirtball. I’m sure you have a plunger or a bat or something.

The important thing is that he can’t get you if he is locked in that capsule. You have the last laugh. Only $825.

Here are a few bonus jokes:
What kind of tea does an alien drink? Earl Grey.
What book do they use when they abduct you and operate on you? Grey’s Anatomy.

Bonus Bonus joke below:

alien capsule
How do they get into your room at night? Doesn’t matter, because they’re already there and watching you as you read this. Holy S**t, look up from the screen. Look up!