nightmare on Chinatown streetThe seller of these Chinese copper gloves has no info on them, but I know that they are an ancient evil passed down through the ages. The latest tormented soul to wear them was Freddy Krueger himself. They slice, they dice and you’ll like the price. $69.99

Red and black striped sweater and hat sold separately. Once you buy these you’ll have to look up directions to Elm Street yourself and find some idiot kids to terrorize. Remember all of those 80’s haircuts and awkward makeout scenes? No wonder Freddy went nuts. Those kids were lame.

So apparently the Chinese had this first. Not Freddy Krueger. Maybe Freddy Wong. The studs on the back of the hand are a nice touch. Some chinaman working on the American railroad in the 1800s probably got pissed off and created these, becoming a vigilante superhero by night and slashing up the faces of all those who wronged him. Some say that when you wear these gloves, you can hear the hammer of spikes creating the railroad. Others just say they hear the whisper of a pissed off chinaman cursing and slashing flesh.

Years later they were likely found in Chinatown. In an old box. In an old shop. Where an old man smoked a long pipe and sold a Mogwai/Gremlin to some guy. Spooky.