Jar HeadEtsy seller MindsEyeCreation makes all kinds of scary and creepy stuff. This evil hell spawn which looks like an amalgamation of all of my ex-wives is called a jar head. Not because he’s a marine, but because he actually has a jar head.

Jar Head
These are scary-ass sculpted dolls with a functional jar for a head that the seller will make however you want. There’s an actual glass jar inside so you can use it for candles and stuff. Man, if my ex-wifes could have held a candle in their heads, I would have one in each corner of the house right now for some nice Gothic lighting and atmospheric nagging from every angle.

Here’s a song about my ex-wives that I wrote with the help of Sir Elton John:
It seems to me you lived your lives
like a candle in the head
Never knowing how to cook my food
and wanting me dead

Your meatloaf burned up long before…your legend ever did.

That’s all we have so far. Elton is a busy guy you know.