Fetuses are gettin’ all holographic up in this biatch. Goin all matrix. Did it choose the red pill or the blue pill? I have no idea, but I know it’s name is Neo. Neo-natal! Zing! Didn’t see that one coming did ya? I’ve been gestating that one for nine months. Got it out just in time too. My back was killing me! This Holographic Fetus Pendant looks like it’s sucking some serious Matrix tit-ee milk!
Archive for Creep Wear
This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.
Check out these Kawaii Skeleton Kitties Pendants. Their bone game is strong. Even purr-fect. I didn’t think that cats could be any more adorable, but I was wrong. (Behind the scenes peek. I accidentally typed “I was wong” at first. I am not and nor have I ever been wong. Not Mr. or Dr. Wong and I know I’m not wrong. Everybody Wang-Chung!) Anywho, these pendants are the kitty’s t**tties. Totes Adorbs. Like OMG!
Leaping skeletal rabbits! What have we hare? I mean here. It’s a Cute and Glittery Skeleton Rabbit Enamel Pin. Reminds me of that time I saw an army of these things coming at me. It was the war of the Nyquil Overdose. I won, but barely and eventually woke up sweating and shaking under the couch, wearing a colander for a helmet with an ear of corn in my gun holster. I still have nightmares.
Still though, cute pin.
Feast your peepers on this All-Seeing Eye Illuminati Tie. Wow. Try saying that three times fast. No, go ahead and try. I’ll wait. I’m gonna wear this everywhere so people think I’m “The Man”. Cuz I am. I admit it. I watch the goings on, I hush conspiracies, I AM the system! Plus, I attend all of the secret meetings. Really, you’ve never been? OMG! It’s so cool you guys. We have tables full of lunch meats, little weiners on sticks served on trays by little waiter weiners on stick legs, sometimes we talk about all of you peons and do a hearty belly-laugh as we drink wine. See the joke is usually that you have no idea that we are in control and living large at your expense. Ha! Good times. I know I’ve said too much, but that’s cool. They’ll just reprogram me and I’ll forget. Wouldn’t be the first time. As far as I know anyway.