Look out for this minislasher. The Friday the 13th Jason Voorhees with Sound 15-Inch Doll is the terror of mini Camp Crystal Lake. Jason comes dressed in real cloth clothing and has 9 points of articulation. Also an appropriately sized machete. He’s a psycho of small stature. It plays his iconic signature sound effect so at least you’ll know when he’s coming for you.
Archive for Creepy Dolls
These Day Of The Dead Russian Matryoshka Dolls are awesome. Creepy, but in a fun way. Kind of how relatives describe me. These are handmade and hand painted, then hand packed and sent to you so you can get your hands on them. They look amazing. I’m gonna use them to scare all of my other Matryoshka dolls.
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.
Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.
If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!
FrivolousForest makes these Terrifying Poseable Needle Felted Plant Monsters, along with some other equally horrifying monster miniatures. I think I saw some of these roaming around in the woods last week, but that may have been that nyquil on the rocks I took to ward off my oncoming cold. Don’t judge, I get a lot of cold symptoms and I need my medicine. Besides you know what they say. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. Especially when mixed with Nyquil. I feel healthy as a horse. A horse who never remembers much and constantly wakes up in the forest with little creatures around me.
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On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…4 Malformed Fetal Skeleton Specimens. (And she wonders why I divorced her.) Or as I like to call them, Teenage Mutant Ninja Fetuses. You see that dude in the glass ball/lens thing there? Yeah, these guys are summoning him to be their next sacrifice, after which they will have a movie deal, appear in some video games and then abuse drugs and fade into obscurity.