Chinese Loch Ness Monster Spotted
This is a cell phone video from China that supposedly shows a mysterious creature briefly emerging from a lake while a bunch of onlookers panic and make noise. The footage was filmed at a lake in China’s Louping County, and shows a dark object causing ripples on the surface of the water. Then another part of the creature suddenly pops up out of the lake and witnesses can be heard gasping and shouting some more.

Let’s see, we have bubbling and ripples on the water. My research suggests that this is yet another case of the “Nessie farting” phenomenon. No wonder the witnesses are freaking out. Nessie farts reak. Nessie rips some farts and the bubbles rise, rippling the water when they hit the surface. Sometimes you lose control and poop hits the surface. Don’t believe me? Get in the bathtub and let one rip. I just tested my theory a minute ago. In fact I’m still in the tub. Just did it again. Hang on, gotta plug my laptop in again. Rips a huge one. Hey, look at me, I’m Nessie.

*Creates a wave that hits my laptop and electrocutes me for like ten minutes. We’ll talk later when I get out of my coma.*