Cthulhu Lava Hourglass
I tell time the H.P. Lovecraft way, with this Cthulhu Lava Hourglass. What time is it? It’s half past Cthulu’s ass and a quarter to his balls. It doesn’t matter what time you ask me, that’s always the time. This hourglass is lava-ly. I mean lovely.

The lava slowly counts down to a dark awakening that spells our doom.