duct tape teddy bearAwww. It’s a duct tape teddy bear. I’m gonna call him the Gimp and use him as a stress reliever. What’s that? This late fee is going to cost me like $40 bucks extra??? BRING OUT THE GIMP! AND GET MY BAT! Another f***ing telemarketer called? THE GIMP! AT ONCE! I really don’t understand these taxes. You mean the more I make, the more I owe? GIMP! TO ME! NOW!

I hope he’s built solid cause I have a lot of issues. My therapist will be pleased that I’m not taking it out on his furniture every time he sighs and calls a bathroom break.

“Why are you so out of breath and why is my couch all torn apart and full of holes?”

“The same reason your bathroom smells like Mary Jane. Stress relief. You needed a break from me and I needed to justify paying $400 a session when I could just-”

“Let’s talk about your mother. I-”

“YOU ARE LOOKING A LOT LIKE THE GIMP DOCTOR! TIME FOR YOUR SESSION!”

duct tape teddy bear