Extraterrestrial Jewelry: Crop Circle Pendant
Not content with ruining our fields with their crop circle shenanigans, despite several farmers yelling for them to get off their land, the extraterrestrials have now taken to making crop circle jewelry. Apparently by focusing a bunch of new age energy and channeling it through this Etsy seller.
The Crop Circle Pendant Has Arrived on your Planet Today through Skydin Zeal’s Constant Communication with the Enlightened Portion of the Universe’s Celestial Guides!
Oh cool. Thank’s for the delivery and the colorful new age pamphlet that smells like incense.
In Recent times Skydin Zeal was directed by Source to Create New Spiritual Products to Enlighten Humanity through the Direction of Spirit Guides from the Many Planets of our Solar System!
Source is a great director. I hear he has a new movie coming out called Snow White and the 7 Chakras.
And in a Channeled State while Communicating with Enlightened Extraterrestrial Sources, such as the Pleiades, Skydin Received instruction on which Crop Circles to Select and with them Create the Ultimate Crop Circle Pendant for Off-Planet Communications!
“Channeled state”=Drunk at the bar one night dreaming up ways to make some money online. “Skydin Received instruction”= The old guy on the barstool next to her tried to pick her up.
This one is based exclusively on the Relatively New Metaphysical Technology Brought to Earth (and partially created by Earth) through the Massive Crop Circles throughout Europe.
“Metaphysical technology” = Etsy and an internet connection.
I could go on and on, but you have to go look at this item and READ EVERYTHING. It’s like L. Ron Hubbard and Hunter S. Thompson got together and had a love child.