Father's Day Jack Links Beef Jerky Gift Box
Make this Father’s Day special by giving dad the gift of tough dry meat in a heart shaped box. With Bigfoot on it. Holding a Rose. Because Bigfoot loves you. Can you hear the Barry White that he’s playing?

*Walks into forest.Waits a half hour. Hears STOMP STOMP STOMP. Bigfoot approaches.*

It’s about time you came to see your old man.

Well, I’ve been busy acting like an idiot on my blog. You smell like piss and *sniffs* more piss. Happy Father’s Day. *Hands him the heart shaped box of jerky.*

That’s very thoughtful son. *Bigfoot tears* Wait. Are you using my image without permission again?

No dad. I didn’t make it. The beef jerky came that way.

This is just like you son. We need to talk about responsibility-

*Throws hands up.* Here we go. How about “Thank you son. Now I don’t have to track and kill a deer tonight, which I can’t do anyway because I smell like piss and am like 10 feet tall.” This is why mom left. I’m-

*Sirens. Cop gets out of his car nearby.* I repeat, we have TWO of them. Bring ’em in alive and we’ll be rich!

Oh poopy!