mucus wood trollThe guardians of the mucus galaxy are fearsome warriors. Snot that they like to fight, they are just protecting their swampy and mucus ridden capitol planet of nazal-diarhea aka 1h7k-58d on the star charts. Wander into their part of space and your own lasers will be met with slime beams, which leave your ship oozing and coughing. Then you’ll coast on exhaust fumes and land on their gooey cold sore of a planet, fighting off hordes of booger-men as if you were in a mucinex commercial, only the slimy bad guys are winning.

mucus wood troll
But that’s beside the point. It is a much better story for this “woodland troll” since he looks all mucusy and pock-marked and would make me congested and have me hacking as soon as I touched it. I wonder if it comes with cough syrup.