pharmassist machineSweet. This $949. Pharmassist Computer will walk you through your symptoms and advise you on recommended medications. “Hi. Yeah, my NyQuil is all gone. I know this because I have stopped seeing the little furry mushroom people who live in the cracks in my walls. Now I’m looking for something that in pharmacy lingo is gonna make me really ‘trip balls’. What da ya got?”

“What do you mean it doesn’t actually give out medicine, or as I like to call it ‘burning man candy’? Damn it. Back to NyQuil it is then.”