spaghetti monster soapThis Flying Spaghetti Monster soap is an amazing rasta-pasta at a supa low costa. Only $6. It is even Vegan. It looks like two worms grabbing a wad-full of dirt. Because that’s what worms do. They eat dirt and poop it out of their butts.

Just try rubbing this thing all over you when you are in the shower and not think about worms. Which brings me to my next point. I don’t want to be washing my hairy man-butt and have one of those tentacles break off. The doctors in the E.R. are not going to believe it was an Etsy-induced accident. Not after the last time, when I accidentally sat on my Cthulhu soap and spent 5 hours trying to pass a sudsy butt stone that had tentacles going every which way. The doctors kept playing whack-a-mole every time Cthulhu popped his head out while I prairie dogged it in pain.