pregnancy test bunny
Congratulations. You are pregnant. Have this glittery rabbit pregnancy test. You’ll never have a free moment again. Your time will be spent cleaning poop from another smaller human’s butt-cheeks, wiping up drool, stepping on LEGO pieces as you curse the god of reproduction and you generally smell like pee.

Laugh at nerds like me all you want, but since a woman won’t touch me, I don’t have to worry about this stuff and can just play video games while my mom makes me lunch and cleans up around here.