haunted microwaveSo this haunted microwave showed up on eBay for $6,677.88. The listing has a creepy history of how it became haunted and what happened to those involved. So gather around the campfire creeplings. I’m gonna tell you a story. The story of…The Hospice of Horror…

haunted microwave
The seller works in a hospice taking care of people who are dying. This microwave was in the office. One patient was slightly deranged and used to call the office manager on the phone, making weird sounds. Elder crank calls. You gotta love ’em. One day the office manager had had enough, so she played some Dracula sounds back into the phone. Patient Zero(that’s what I’m calling him) freaked out and hung up. Then died!

From that point on the microwave began to have a mind of its own. And I’m not talking just overcooking some hot pockets(Thank God). It would display numbers at random. The office manager was scared, but tech savvy Kathy said it was just a short, and not to worry, unless it was showing 666. Haha. Clever. Kooky Kathy is Krazy.

The next day, the office manager came into work and 666 was displayed on the microwave. Being a wuss, she freaked out and quit, and another office manager took over. They started unplugging the microwave when it would act up, and it was still heating food when plugged in. All that matters is that you have hot pockets. I totally get that. But damn! Just buy a new $35 microwave and banish the evil.

Anyhow the new manager quit too because things were still freaky and weird. Kathy came into work early when no one was in the office yet, and the microwave was displaying 666. It had plugged itself in to do this! But that was just child’s play. Her phone displayed “DIE” at the same time! She also received a voicemail message that one of the patients had passed away, and the patient had not passed away. That patient DID die that afternoon. Damn! This ain’t Casper haunting your shizz! Kathy said the voice was the seller’s voice, but she didn’t send her a message, and it was from a number that should have gone out to all the staff, but no one else got the call.

However, AGAIN, hot pockets were cooking perfectly fine in the microwave, so that must have been why it was so hard to part with. I get that. I love hot pockets. But sh*t is getting real at this point! Anyway, later that night Kathy went home and her husband turned on a movie. On the movie was a wall with graffiti that said 666 on one side, and DIE on the other. She had to turn the movie off because she was freaked.

The seller kept it in her cubicle to keep the evil at bay.(And to have hot pockets for only herself no doubt). So one morning Kathy came in early when it was still dark. The microwave sat in the cubicle being ominous. It was plugged in. Suddenly, it started beeping and freaked Kathy out. So Kathy unplugged it and went back to her cubicle. Then she heard knocking coming from the cubicle. She had to call her husband and keep him on the phone because she didn’t want to be alone in the dark with a haunted microwave. Plus… No hot pockets, which added to the terror. When the others came in for work, they also heard the knocking. The seller was sick that day.

Everywhere they put it they heard knocking. And so the seller took it home to sell on Ebay because(and God bless her) anything still capable of making hot pockets can’t be all evil.

That’s pretty much the whole story. The emphasis on hot pockets is all me. Just be aware that if you buy this thing, it’s shenanigans will continue and heighten. It may start smelling like arthritis rub or switching your TV to Matlock or Murder She Wrote.