ebay coupleHere’s your chance to help John & Lieyse, a young and in love Ebay couple. For only $11,000, you can help these two fools for love unite and be together. They offer so much in return- John will do anything you want + you get all of his Ebay auctions, as a special bonus. The lovesick lovers explain, “We really need just a little help to be together and start our amazing journey through life. Each day we’re apart hurts worse than anyone can imagine.”

ebay coupleAwww…young love…look at those sweet, smiling faces. How could you not want to empty out your savings account and help these two be together? What? Do I hear you thinking, “No way?” Well, shame on you, heartless one. I will show you the err of your ways and help remind you of what it is to be young and in love. Then maybe you’ll have some compassion for John & Liesye’s situation.

A Sample From One Of Their Chats:

“John
11:28 PM
yes I’m almost finished with your poem, so far its funny and sweet =)

Liesye
11:28 PM
aah can’t wait to read it.. 😉

John
11:29 PM
=)

Liesye
11:33 PM
Yesterday I just thought: when he wakes up this morning, he is going to forget about all this.. but then, guess you are not forgetting this, and that is the sweetest thing a man ever did to me, thank you 😉

John
11:34 PM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaait for it……… lol sweetest thing is coming in a moment, but believe me, there is a lot more =)

Liesye
11:42 PM
Now you just spoil me.. But, you don’t even know me yet. I’m sure when you got to know me better, you’ll regret that you ever be this sweet to me
Let me know when you do 😉

John
11:42 PM
I regret nothing if it makes you smile, and I’m just about done

Liesye
11:44 PM
just about done? see that was quick regret

John
11:45 PM
no, im just about done with your poem silly lol

Liesye
11:45 PM
lol okay..
let me read it?

John
11:45 PM
yes of course, its for you =)

Liesye
11:45 PM
i know 😛

John
11:47 PM
Oh, I see… Well, now I might just leave off every first letter…
=)
Okay its short, but I think it’s perfect….

Liesye
11:47 PM
haha… no please don’t do that
okay….

John
11:47 PM
Get ready!

Liesye
11:47 PM
you gonna email it or..?

John
11:48 PM
Are you sitting down? I don’t want you to fall from being flattered…

Liesye
11:48 PM
haha… oh come on…
you know i’m flattered already :p

John
11:48 PM
I’d feel terrible if you were to faint lol, okay here it is =)

Liesye
11:48 PM
okay..

John
11:49 PM
To the very cute girl,
whos name I can’t speak
Perhaps though, I needn’t,
with a soft kiss on your cheek.
=)

Liesye
11:50 PM
so what will you call me then?

John
11:50 PM
I’ll call you mine with a kiss lol =)

Liesye
11:53 PM
ooouw.. so sweet… thank you :)”

Young love, makes you do crazy things…makes you act all foolish and giggly. Also looks like it makes you post your innermost thoughts and personal, heartfelt words and photos of your cute girlfriend all over the internet. Nothing weird or creepy about that. Not anything creepy about saying you will do ANYTHING for $11,000 either. Beats working for the man, right?

Here’s our list of a few ways John could please his future personal benefactor..feel free to add to the list in the comments:

1. Let’s get the obvious out of the way for anyone who is perving on the girl. She’s not included in the deal, so get your mind outta the gutter.

2. Turn him into your private butler for a year. Don’t have to go to China to find cheap labor these days…

3. Lock him in a cage and make him reenact Youtube Memes. You never know, you tube fans might really enjoy seeing John struggling with the cinnamon challenge or doing his version of the harlem shake, twerking or immitating whatever meme is of the moment. It just might go viral. Stranger things have happened.

4. Throw him in a dark hole and yell “It puts the lotion on”

5. Make John get a full time job, since it seems to be the thing he fears the most. Have a camera follow him around and create a reality tv show about it. If it goes big on Mtv or Bravo, give all the money it makes to Liesye. She’s gonna need it for therapy.

6. If you’re an Ebay power seller, have him list all of your items on Ebay for a year. Looks like he already has a bunch of listings, so I’m sure he can handle doing several more for you..which reminds me of the extra bonus he’s offering- ALL of his Ebay auctions!

We don’t have the time to share them all with you, so be sure to check out all of his rare_odd auctions. These are a few of our personal favorites:

ebay coupleOne-Of-A-Kind Collection Of Insane Asylum Stories. Worth:$5,000.

John admits, “This is the actual manuscript to ‘The Facility’, a short story I wrote during my recent stay at a mental facility, literally going crazy to be with my Fiancee…An interesting dark-humor filled look at what it’s like in a sanitarium.”

ebay coupleOne-Of-A-Kind Collection Of Mad Scientist Schematics, Diagrams And Notes Worth:$4,000

John shares with us, “This is my personal notebook with intriguing diagrams, ideas and notes. This is all I can show here, there is no other notebook ever in the history of the world like this one. What if you could have owned Albert Eisenstein or Thomas Edison’s personal little first-time-thought-was-ever-conceived-of rough and hastily sketched notebook? Well, now you can own mine. A sacrifice I must make to be with my Fiancee.

Original and raw piece of American inventing history – Really no price can be put on it.”

ebay coupleRare Metal Art Sculpture- ‘Thought Emitter’

“My first metal-work ever… Not too shabby… Let it emit profound thoughts to you too,” says John.