herpes is foreverWhen you love her enough to buy jewelry, give her something that lasts forever. Like herpes. Otherwise known as the herp, the big itch, the slow burn, love warts, crotch craters and a hunk a hunk of burning love. So what do you get her if you have already given her the real thing? This herpes necklace from ebay seller stealmy_screenname is the next best thing.

herpes is forever
This awesome item ends in six hours and I know I’m itching to bid. Come to think of it, I’m itching pretty bad. Probably should get that checked. Again. Anyway, I know what your thinking. Wait, is that baked beans? Nope. That’s the herp my friend. Presumably skank wrangled by hand and biologically trained to sit within a watch case and bubble away so that everyone at your next dinner party can admire it and throw up in their mouths. They should sell these by the handful. In a blister pack. Get it? Blister pack. I slay myself.

The herp in a watch case. Why not? Once you’ve got it, it’s always time for herpes. Stop! Herpe time! Can’t touch this!