holiday bunny butts
Nothing says Christmas like a trio of bunny butts with Santa hats on them. Deck the halls with dingle-berries fa la la la la la la la la. At $50 a rabbit butt, this trio of tushies will cost you $150. I know this because as a kid I was hooked on math phonics, but I kicked the habit years ago. Yay me!

Click through for a touching holiday poem.

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house
could be heard the startled and curdled scream of the spouse.

What’s this?
She pointed, her horror quite plain.

Are those rabbit butts?
Are you completely insane?

But they have little hats
I said with a smirk

Get them out of my house
you big dumb jerk

I was sent packing,
my fur butts in tow

I trudged out the house
and into the snow

When in the sky arose such a clatter,
I looked up to see what was the matter.

It was a jolly fat man and eight reindeer.

Ho Ho Ho. Did I catch you unawares?
I’ll take that trio of rabbit derrieres.

And off he flew into the night.
That jolly fat thief gave me such a fright.

My wife called from the door in a hurry
Something above her in the starlight gleamed furry.

She raced forward with her arms stretched out
I am so sorry her lips did practically shout.

A trio of bunny butts struck in a thundering clatter
My lovely wife was nothing but a splatter.

Ungrateful ho ho ho he laughed and sang
as his sleigh bells jingled and rang.

I cried long after the ambulance came
Told the police I had been framed.

The trial was railroad and quick
The prosecutor looked suspiciously like St. Nick.

I’ll have my revenge you fat jolly troll
Just as soon as I get out and earn my parole.

I’ll be packin’ heat as I make for the North pole.

You sick son of a b***h!