Losing My Religion... and My Lunch - Infected Crucifix
If you have an Infected Crucifix like this in your church, you really have a health hazard. Would it kill ya to at least spray some Windex on everything, oh I don’t know, once a century? Cuz I know the bacteria and germs on this thing WILL kill ya. This will be the first time ever that a priest has to be called in to perform an exorcism on the cross itself. Actually, I’m pretty sure this is the cross that creates all demons and bad things in this world, while also smelling putrid, like the puss smell of a thousand zitty butts, when all the zits burst at the same time. Lunch? You lost it.

This piece really grosses me out. Why have you shown me this lord? Why have you cast my eyes upon this? What is the message?

*Booming voice* Because you have an infection you idiot!

Oh….

Is it my weiner? Please don’t let it be my weiner.

Waaaa waaaa waaaa. This is the thanks I get for trying to warn you? Nothing but complaining! NOW it is your weiner!

Oh boy! Starting to feel the burn. Is it too late for some hail marys and a confession?