Nasco Lifeform Simulaids Baby Birthing Mannequin(With Ripped Cervix)
Nasco, maker of creepy and weird medical teaching devices, strikes again. As a man, I’m just going to have to practice my breathing techniques to get through this article without passing out. It’s cool that this company made so many things to teach doctors, but do they have to be so creepy?
According to the seller, this mannequin was recently retired from a college, where it no doubt scarred many students and lived a full life in each of their nightmares. As far as condition of the item? It has a tear in the lower cervix, while the baby is in fair condition. Sounds like a real pregnancy huh?
It’s like that bee-bee gun line from “A Christmas Story”, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” except it’s “You’ll tear your cervix.” That would be a great anti-pregnancy PSA for young girls. Does any of this make any sense? I don’t know what lady parts do what. I was never a real hit with the ladies, unless you count actual hits that I received from ladies. Mostly to the face and crotch. They seem to prefer me doubled over and vomiting.
Why do they call it pregnancy anyway? Did it start with a Nancy who was always preg? That’s my guess. She was a tough act to follow, everybody just started calling pregnant women preg-nancys. Look at that one. She’s a regular preg-nancy alright. She’s preg as Nancy ever was and twice as wide.
Damn, that little rubber baby is creepy. And his belly button is huge. Wait. I think it is a “her”. Oh yeah, that much I know. She’s all tuckered out after ripping that cervix and escaping the womb.
Nah. I bet a college nerd ripped that thing. He was all high on math and good test scores, probably got hit in the face and crotch a lot and just needed some sweet release. I don’t judge. I just hope little rubber girl wasn’t watching. There are some lines you just don’t cross.