salami notes
Yeah, I used to use these Salami Notes for all kinds of things. I would write myself notes, leave messages for others, tell random strangers to get bent, but I don’t use ’em anymore. They just aren’t worth the trouble. People get real offended whenever the salami comes out. Like that time my female boss asked me for some sales figures.

No problem boss lady, I’ll just write you a note on my salami and slide it in your box nice and easy.

*slap* Pack up your desk right now you filthy disgusting maggot.

Or that time a co-worker asked me if I had any post-its.

No, but I’ll give ya my salami. Just go easy on it. It’s not like you can get this kind of meat in the Deli.

*BAM! Heel to the toe*

Then there was Bertha the hairy mole-faced janitor with hog breath.

Sure I got something to write on. How about you take my salami? Say, why are we going in the supply closet? No need to pin my arms done! Oh dear God! No, keep the lights off. Why? Why?