sugar bearThis Sugar Bear mask is what every Honey Boo Boo cosplayer needs if they want to look like the redneck patriarch of the clan. Etsy seller PittawayArt (Sky Vega Special Effects Makeup)is offering this for $720.

It is pretty authentic right down to the balding head and vacant eyes. Eyes that seem to say “Get me a beer woman! Damn, but I like me a big woman!” Yet, this mask looks sad. There is a mama June mask at the second link to keep it company.

Confession time: I like me a big woman too. Just ordered this mask. If that face worked for Sugar Bear, it will work for me. If you need me I’ll be at Walmart where the prices are low and so are the standards of the ladies. Look for me in the mac and cheese isle, aka the chub hub.