This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.
Posts Tagged alien
The world continues to get crazier and more nightmarish every day and not just because I just dropped two ice cubes in a whiskey glass only find out I’m out of Nyquil. Well, mainly because of that, but also because of these Alien Xenomorph Looking Sharks that were recently snagged by researchers near Taiwan. Yes, they look like Alien Xenomorphs. Yes, I’m not sleeping anytime soon. Are those snake teeth on a shark? Yes they are. They can move their jaw beyond their mouth. *Sigh. Shakes Nyquil over the ice one more time. Nothing comes out… Again. Looks out the window.* Oh, now I see the problem. BRB.
*Returns with new bottle. Pours it. Drinks. Ahhhhhhh.* Silly me, trying to drink Nyquil when it’s day outside. Luckily I have a fresh batch of Dayquil. That hit the spot. Don’t try this at home. I’m what you call a professional.
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You know what these Hand Carved Stone Alien Coasters mean? It means that these aliens got stoned! What? Nothin’? Tough room. I’ll try to come up with a new slate of jokes. Anyway, these coasters are pretty cool. They’ll protect your surfaces from stains and spills, while reminding you to clench up those butt cheeks. Gotta get those muscles tight. Just in case, ya know? If they can’t get the probes in, the humans win. Simple as that. If it don’t fit, they must acquit and put ya back in bed.
This UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt shows Bigfoot getting sucked up into a UFO. Or does it? I think they are dropping this sasquatch off. What the shizz? You UFOs just think you can dump your creatures here anytime you want? This planet isn’t some Bigfoot daycare center. You can’t just drop your hairy brats off without even parking, leave them here for like 3 weeks and then pick them up after your big party of Alpha Centauri, still half drunk and smelling like alien sex and Martian Margaritas.
Stick these Alien Christmas Ornaments on your tree and celebrate like it’s Area 51 up in dis biatch. That’s when ya party all night and then give everyone missing time afterwards. They double as alien dolls too. You can take them out of their ornament incubation chamber and display them standing up. They’re plush so pretty darn cute too, with metallic fabric. They come in 2 sets with several colors.
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