Oh man, I’m about to get wrapped up in this card game. Cuz of these awesome Mummies Playing Cards. Perfect for poker nights in your ancient tomb. So open up some ancient sarcophaguses and play a game with your own mummy or mummies. If you can handle all of their groaning and moaning. C’mon, how bad can it be being wrapped up in toilet paper? It isn’t like it was already used toilet paper. Damn. Check out that cool art.
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Posts Tagged amazon.com
Guys this is the most accurate Bigfoot calling device ever, at least since that spicy taco fart I did while camping in 1976, which resulted in a three Bigfoots circling my tent wondering what that trash smell was and if the mountain was on fire with ass somehow. This Authentic Bigfoot Call seems totally legit. I’m willing to take their word for it, mostly cuz I’m too lazy to look up a video on Youtube. I’m sure it doesn’t sound anything like a kazoo f**king a duck or anything like that. Just blow into it and it will call a Bigfoot. So it is basically a Bigfoot phone. You know how else you can call a Bigfoot? Hang up a dead goat in the forest and wait. This device is much less messy. Also where do you even find a goat that isn’t part of a meme? No idea.
I’m gonna store all of my Red Bull in this Gothic Black Bat Wings Backpack. You know why? Cuz Red Bull gives you wings! Well, sure diabetes too, but wings aint bad. Gonna strap this thing on and run real fast so those wings flap in the breeze while I squeak like a bat, even if that is just my asthma. It’s gonna be so cool. I’m a bat out of hell baby! Then I’ll jump off the roof and either fly or be a puddle of Red Bull on the sidewalk.
I don’t know about you, but massacres make me hungry. Especially the Texas Chainsaw variety. This Texas Chainsaw Massacre Lunch Box is a great way to carry your lunch. I would suggest cutting your sandwich in half with a chainsaw, just to keep things authentic and all. Or you could use it to store your other stuff in. Either way it an awesome lunch box honoring a classic horror movie.
These Kill Time Coloring Books are designed to give you peace of mind. Did someone piss you off? Well, don’t yell and curse at them. Color your anger away and release the tension in your life by coloring some of the greatest horror kills of all time. That’s how you relieve stress like an adult. Don’t grab your machete, grab your crayons. Then go in for the kill.