This Grinding Skeleton Piggy Bank makes saving money weird and fun. He’s not grinding like rubbing up against you on the dance floor. I think he might be grinding herbs if you know what I mean. I have no idea. It’s just fun to see a skeleton do stuff while you get rich one coin at a time. When you put in a coin, the skeleton will move and emit “horrible ghost cries”. That sold me.
Posts Tagged coin
Holy Mackerel. This Fish Zipper Pouch is exactly what I need when I go fish shopping.
“That will be $45 sir.” (I buy a lot of fish.) “I see a fish sticking out of your pocket sir! Did you steal that?”
“$45.That’s an outrage!” *Pulls my fish pouch out and slaps her with it.* Whoops! That didn’t make the squishy sound I expected on your face. Of course, I didn’t steal this one. It’s a pouch. I stole this one!”
*Whips a fish out of my other pocket and slaps her with it. Runs for the exit.*
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Don’t spend these Creepy Cool Hobo Nickels all in one place. What’s a hobo nickel? I guess it’s what you pay hobos for doing hobo stuff. I’m gonna be a hobo so I can get some of these cool nickels. Gonna ride the rails all day, look all dirty, carry a knapsack and every Friday and go to the hobo payment center where I’m gonna collect all of the nickels. Sweet! People are always calling me a hobo anyway.
That’s not what we call you?
Really? What is that name you guys are always calling me?
You’ll figure it out. Use your rhyming skills.
Well I- Ohhhhhhh. I get it…. Do they have nickels too?
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Here you go. Here is fifty dollars. And here is my Freaky Teeth Coin Purse where you can get the change. *Holds it up* You may open it.
Uh. I’m good. You open it.
No, I insist, you open it.
I’m not touching that mouth sir!
Go ahead. I can’t open it. I have arthritis.
Sir, you and your freak lady purse with teeth are holding up the line. Just go.
Well I never. *Bags my groceries and leaves* YES! This demented dental purse has saved me like seventy bucks this week. *Whistles through the parking lot.*
You could buy this Creepy Coin Eating Bank, but chances are you already have one. It’s called a kid. Those little wallet-thumpers eat money like there’s no tomorrow. And guess what? There is no tomorrow. Because you have kids. And no money for cool stuff. All of your tomorrows are gone. Suckers. That’ll teach ya to not wear a rubber. You don’t see me with a grubby little money-vacuum hanging off my leg. I-
*Ding-Dong!* *Opens door.* *Looks at the little fat kid that was left on my doorstep. Kid looks back.*
I know. I know. Your mom left you here, because she can no longer take care of you and she somehow thinks I have loads of money right? Shut up. I know you’re my kid, not because you’re a little fatty, although that definitely weighs in your favor. No pun intended. I know, because you’re carrying that giant box of chocolate everywhere, just like this little fatty used to do.*Fights back tears*
Take it. This is like 500 in cash. I was gonna get a new PS4 tonight. Now get out of here before we both start crying.*sniffle* *Shuts door.* *Collects myself and looks through peephole. Sees kid going crazy outside, dancing.*
Hears: “Hey dad that crazy f***er just won me the school contest! He didn’t even buy any candy. I just won a PS4!”
God damn it!