Hmmmm. I have a dead bird and I also have a vintage tray. What kind of art project could I possibly make and throw up on Etsy? I know. I’ll stick the dead bird on the tray so that people can hang it on their wall. It’s quick and kinda Christ-like. The seller offers these Dead Birds On Vintage Serving Trays in either a silver or a gold tray. Pro tip: Looks best in trailers, right next to your gun rack and looks really great if you are living out of the inside of a U-Haul truck.
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Posts Tagged craft fail
This Ouija Board For Pets aka talking board will help your dog, cat, lizard and whatever the hell else you have, communicate with you. Or you can use the planchette to talk to your departed animals. Spoiler alert! You know what they all say? Feed me! Dead or alive, they all want the same thing. I don’t need a damn ouija board to tell me what my cat is thinking. He tells me just fine. Scratching up my furniture means he’s an a-hole, coughing up a hairball means he’s an a-hole, not that he’s sick, and jumping on my face in the morning doesn’t mean he’s hungry. He just wants to remind me that he’s an a-hole. That board only needs one large space reading A-HOLE.
What poultry offering do I have for you this time? How about a Dancing Chicken Lamp? Does it do the hustle? The Charleston? The Elaine from Seinfeld? I have no idea.
All I know is that this chicken has paid it’s Per-Dues and is ready to dance the night away. So crank up the volume and play some funky nuggets and some free range beats. This lamp is feather-pluckin’ insane son!
You spacey cretin! Damn you Spaghetti Eating Spaceman! How dare you come to my planet and eat all of the spaghetti. How dare you sir! Stop slurping spaghetti while I yell at you. Stick to the pipe cleaners on your home planet!
But seriously… I see it’s bring your child to work day on Etsy once again. Kids do the darnedest things. Bless.
These Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures are so f***d up I had to drop my glass of whiskey and get a glass of vodka. What the hell is wrong with you people? Animals and Barbies do not mix! Do you want God to come back and barbecue us all in blazing hellfire? Cuz this is how you get God to come back. Damn twisted Etsy scientists.
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