Fetuses are gettin’ all holographic up in this biatch. Goin all matrix. Did it choose the red pill or the blue pill? I have no idea, but I know it’s name is Neo. Neo-natal! Zing! Didn’t see that one coming did ya? I’ve been gestating that one for nine months. Got it out just in time too. My back was killing me! This Holographic Fetus Pendant looks like it’s sucking some serious Matrix tit-ee milk!
Posts Tagged gift
This Alien Hardwood Gemstone Pendant is based on Sacred Geometry, whatever that means. I’m TLTG. Too lazy to google. Not sure if it’s supposed to keep aliens away or what, but I’m not falling for it. I’m pretty sure this is nothing more than a human tracker. If I wear this, the aliens are going to know where I am at all times and probably know exactly when my butt is dilated enough for their probing.
Check out these Kawaii Skeleton Kitties Pendants. Their bone game is strong. Even purr-fect. I didn’t think that cats could be any more adorable, but I was wrong. (Behind the scenes peek. I accidentally typed “I was wong” at first. I am not and nor have I ever been wong. Not Mr. or Dr. Wong and I know I’m not wrong. Everybody Wang-Chung!) Anywho, these pendants are the kitty’s t**tties. Totes Adorbs. Like OMG!
I love these Anatomy Pocket Notebooks cuz I can put my heart in my pocket, along with my bones, my lungs. Carrying a pocket book doesn’t make me any less of a man does it? Nope, your two inch weenie is what makes you less of a man. How dare you! It’s called shrinkage. I had just gotten out of the pool. A pool of my own pee, but still. I have a weak bladder. Anyway, these anatomy books are awesome. They have anatomy and guts and stuff.
This Vampyres Tarot Card Deck is full of vampires. Apparently it’s made by vampires, for vampires. Which probably means that the death card is replaced by garlic. Use these as a tool to divine the future. If you are a creature of the night, use them to determine where your next meal is coming from and who it may be. I hope it’s not me. I eat garlic every night, just so you know. I also wear like ten crosses on me at all times and carry a stake. Wait, I spelled that wrong. I carry a steak. I’m always hungry.