Have you been bitten by a Vampire? If so, dry your tears on some tissues from this Dracula Tissue Box Cover. You know what they say.Once bitten twice shy. What the hell does that even mean? That I’m gonna be bashful if another Vampire bites me? Hell no. I’m a little tease. I’m gonna be all batting my eyelashes and flirting. Then when he’s distracted, I’m gonna bite him instead and turn him human, cuz that’ll work. Then when he is holding his neck and saying, “Ow! What the-” I’m gonna knee him in the nuts and run.
Posts Tagged kit
These Mini Vampire Kits will come in real handy if I get attacked by a tiny blood sucker. That’s why I’m taking one of these with me in the woods. You know, ticks. Tiny bloodsuckers. Also should be good against midget politicians. And it might help you against doctors bearing tiny syringes. There are a lot of tiny blood suckers out there now that I think about it. This will help.
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The Pee-On Customizable Urinal Cake Kit lets you put any face you want on a urinal cake. At last, I will pee on the faces of those who have wronged me. Talk about a toxic avenger. Like that guy who gave me a hassle at the grocery store the other day when I told him I didn’t need a bag for my 1 item purchase. Take a bag. No thanks. You gotta have a bag. That’s okay. But it’s store policy. You don’t want someone to think you stole it. They won’t. I have a receipt. And you know I paid. Back off already. Damn kid. It ain’t worth the coronary strain that’s gonna cause your pizza face to erupt like a thousand tiny volcanoes. Chill already. I spent like five minutes arguing.
Yeah, that guy. Eff That guy. I’d like to sneak a pic of his face with my phone and put it on a urinal cake. *Peeing after like 50 drinks.* Now who wants a bag? I bet you want a bag, don’t you? Have a bag! Well you’re not getting a bag. Just pee! It’s raining pee, hallelujah it’s raining pee. Amen! Stick that in your bag you little-
I hate that guy.
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How do you create a zombie? (Fun behind the scenes fact. I originally typed “Hoe do you create a zombie? and pictured a pimp shakin’ his cane at her as he said it all interrogation-like. I giggled. Good times. You best not be creatin’ no zombies hoe!) Anyway, where was I? ADD is like a maze wrapped inside a riddle and covered in a sweet enigma caramel shell. Oh yeah. Making your own zombies.
You see my child, when a filthy and rabid zombie loves your brain very very much, he bites you. That is how zombies are created. Now go to sleep and stop complaining about nightmares.
Or you can just buy this Create Your Own Zombie Action Figure Customizing Kit and make some yourself. On the other hand, the government used to create them with TV broadcasts.
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Oh yeah. The CSI Facial Reconstruction Toy is just what every kid wants. Your child of 10 years + will love reconstructing the ghastly features of crime victims, by modeling clay on the skull of a fake corpse in an attempt to reconstruct that broken face and catch a bad guy.
What do you want for Christmas little Timmy?
I want to play with a corpse face and uncover the clues of how the victim died! *Huge smile that says please! Please! Please!*
*Looks at kid* Somebody get this little creeper a therapist or something. I’m sleeping with one eye open Timmy. Get some friends ya little freak!
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