I love these Anatomy Pocket Notebooks cuz I can put my heart in my pocket, along with my bones, my lungs. Carrying a pocket book doesn’t make me any less of a man does it? Nope, your two inch weenie is what makes you less of a man. How dare you! It’s called shrinkage. I had just gotten out of the pool. A pool of my own pee, but still. I have a weak bladder. Anyway, these anatomy books are awesome. They have anatomy and guts and stuff.
Posts Tagged medical
This Human Anatomy Shower Curtain will shower you with knowledge of the human body. See what I did there? Basically just undress your own anatomy from your clothing and stand there naked while learning about yourself. Then get in the shower and have some fun with yourself. And by that, I mean get clean. Get your mind out of the gutter. Now you know all there is to know about your body while showering, so if you poop or pee in there, you’ll know what’s going on inside as it’s happening. Not that I condone that.
So here’s the deal. A research team has developed this pill, which looks like some robo-turd and measures hydrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen gases in the gut in real time. So it basically tracks farts. Me? I don’t need this pill cuz I track farts with my nose. Sometimes I even grade the fart on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the smell of a festering corpse left out in the sun in a landfill and stuffed with cabbage. I don’t need anyone else to take this pill either cuz guess what? I smell your farts too. And that one guy two cubicles down is nailing the high 8 barrier today bigtime. I bet he felt the heat on his cheeks when he unleashed that last one.
Therefore your fart pill is useless. Wanna know if you have digestive issues? How nasty is your steaming fecal cloud? That’ll tell ya. The nose knows.
via CNet (Careful of their super loud and super annoying auto play video, which scared a magnitude 10 fartquake from my San Andr-anus fault cuz I had the sound way up.)
Keep your surfaces clean by protecting them with some good old human anatomy. Now you could get some black market kidneys and slap your chardonnay on top, or you could use these cool Wooden Anatomy Coasters. The latter is my vote, cuz black market organs ain’t cheap. They also smell horrible. They also get stolen from the people who are using them, so there’s that too.
Check out this Silver Anatomical Human Heart Locket. It’s pretty realistically detailed. Except for that fact that human hearts aren’t silver. It has a small compartment that opens which can hold a small message. The heart measures a little over 1.25 inches in height and width and is hung from a silver plated steel chain that is 26 inches long. People are always telling me to have a heart, so I guess I’ll have this one.