Tablets weren’t meant to stand upright by themselves. That’s why you need an octopus to lend a hand. I mean tentacle. This Octopus Tentacle iPad Tablet Stand is just as good as having a real octopus on standby. In fact, it’s better cuz it won’t shoot ink in your face and tell you to f**k off in Octopus language. It also won’t get slime all over every surface in your house. It also won’t move the tablet around and mess with you while you’re binge watching Glee. I don’t watch that. Just an example. And if I did, I certainly wouldn’t cry. Just sayin’.
Posts Tagged octopus
Put your tentacles on this Octopus Tentacle Handle Mug and enjoy a good cup of joe.I don’t know who squeezed out Joe’s liquids and put them in this cup, but that’s a mystery for another day. These are perfect for the octopus lover, not that I condone that sort of thing. Not for me tough. I have an irrational fear of the octopus. I see one and I run away.Yet I’m obsessed with them at the same time. My therapist calls it obsessive com-puss-ive disorder. I’m afraid of the octopus and I’m also a puss. Anyway, enjoy your tentacled mug. Don’t you just want to touch that handle? I do and yet I HATE them. See? I got problems.
Wipe your Kraken with some help from this Kraken Toilet Paper Holder. I’m not saying he’s gonna use each of his eight tentacles to get your butt as clean as it’s ever been, though that would be refreshing, but I am saying that he’s gonna always be there to offer you some fresh TP when you need it most.And if he ever fails you, it’s your fault cuz you forgot to replace the toilet paper.
Why do Octopi always wrap themselves around treasure boxes? It’s like they can’t resist them. I have no idea, but I know what I’m gonna do the next time I need to distract an octopus. I’m gonna dress a treasure chest up in a bikini and whistle, then throw my voice and say, “Hey big boy.” Then I can get the real treasure chest. Guess I showed you Octo-loser! You can raise all of your tentacles into fists all you want, but I’m rich! I’m rich! And you’re just a bit- Stop hugging my face with your tentacles! Where are you dragging me? I guess I didn’t really think this through. Shoulda just bought an Octopus Treasure Chest Trinket Box.
Grab a tentacle and raise a toast- No, not that toast! You’re dripping butter all over the place! Raise your glass man! To the amazing Kraken Tentacle Mug! What? No. No, I’m not saying there’s a crack in the mug. I’m saying it’s a Kraken mug. Are you drunk already? I’m just saying the is cool, okay? Damn, I’m trying to write a blog post here.
That reminds me, why do they call them tentacles when they don’t have small tents on the end? If you trust the English language Octopi should occupy the center of a camping site and spread their tentacles out so campers have a place to sleep.