On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…4 Malformed Fetal Skeleton Specimens. (And she wonders why I divorced her.) Or as I like to call them, Teenage Mutant Ninja Fetuses. You see that dude in the glass ball/lens thing there? Yeah, these guys are summoning him to be their next sacrifice, after which they will have a movie deal, appear in some video games and then abuse drugs and fade into obscurity.
Posts Tagged sculpture
Damn! That’s a face that only a mother could love. And if you are a mother with a kid that looks like this? You both ugly and must have been beat by a hundred ugly sticks. Hang this 3D Framed Zombie Face up on the wall near your front door and any thieves that break in will run away screaming and searching for therapy. Ultimately it will make them a better person, but they will be scarred for life.
The Krampus With Child Statue makes for a classically horrifying bit of Christmas decoration. Damn Krampus. Control yourself and get your tongue back in your mouth. You gonna throw that sacked up kid in a lake or drown him with your saliva? Poor kid. Look at him. He’s all dressed up with his good shirt, has a tie on, little guy wanted to look good for Christmas. Then this happens. You know the bottom of that sack is full of poop too, the only question is how much.
Hang these Dimensional Portals With Tentacles from Etsy seller Shaunography on your wall so you can distract yourself from the real tentacle-filled portals opening up behind you. Seems like a good idea to me. Just put them all around your house so it looks like a massive attack from another dimension. That way if a real portal does open up, it will close again, cuz they will think their tentacled buddies have your place taken care of.
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Um…. WTF! This Weird Foot Creature With Dripping Mucus Action is messed up. It’s has a foot body, with snot dripping from two holes, there’s a head on the other side with more toys coming out from under the chin and the thing has feet of it’s own. Either this is a thing that actually exists or I just started randomly tripping balls. Both of those things are possible. Either way, I just want it to end.
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