Oh hell no! No matter how cute you try to look, you are still a Tarantula Girl Doll. I’m trying to say, in the nicest way possible, that your face makes me scream. Check out the second pic of her on a date with Mr. Tarantula if you want an extra creepy-crawly feeling. This makes me so glad that tarantulas are not in humanoid girl form. It’s actually more for display. In a house of horrors!
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Posts Tagged spider
Normally spiders would keep me away from cookies, but I think I’ll make an exception for these Spider Chocolate Covered OREO Cookies. Yum. The spider means extra protein. Give these to trick or treaters this Halloween? Are you crazy? They can buy their own. There’s only enough for me.
What the hell is that? Get it away! Kill it with fire! Wanna scare the bejesus out of someone? Mess with them using this Realistic RC Spider Remote Control Toy. That’s what I did. I’m responsible for like 3 heart attacks, 2 fainting spells, some dude reaching for a pill in his pocket and 1 case of bowel evacuation, although to be fair, she did have tacos that day. This thing is too much fun. For the one controlling it. Other people? Not so much.
Here’s a good reason to never live in Australia. A couple in Australia had an unexpected guest at their home: a massive Huntsman spider. Presumably called that because they hunt men. This thing was the size of a dinner plate and appeared on a glass patio door. So basically you need a fly swatter the size of a car tire to kill it. And if you miss it will just hug your face and impregnate you.
They never did kill it so it is probably in the couple’s garden still, waiting to strangle their cat. Hell no! Never going to Australia.
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Let me see if I have this right. You want me to wear this Spider Summoner Tarantula Pendant? Which has a spider on it? Which will summon other spiders? Like Tarantulas? Are you out of your GD mind? How about a spider-killer summoner? I’d wear that. No way I’m inviting more spiders up in here. I don’t have enough cups to put over them like domes. I’m already tripping over all of the upside down glasses I have on the floor cuz I’ll trap them, but I ain’t taking them out. Slept walked the other night and kicked them all over and now I have an infestation all over again. I need to summon a spider taker-outer.