You know what these Hand Carved Stone Alien Coasters mean? It means that these aliens got stoned! What? Nothin’? Tough room. I’ll try to come up with a new slate of jokes. Anyway, these coasters are pretty cool. They’ll protect your surfaces from stains and spills, while reminding you to clench up those butt cheeks. Gotta get those muscles tight. Just in case, ya know? If they can’t get the probes in, the humans win. Simple as that. If it don’t fit, they must acquit and put ya back in bed.
Posts Tagged the truth is out there
This UFO Abducting A Cow Christmas Ornament with Light and Sound is going to abduct your Christmas and give it a thorough examination right up its chimney. It features lights, fiber optics, and a sound chip. The UFO lights up and makes a ray gun sound as it abducts that one Earthly beast. Sadly there’s no farmer to shoot his shotgun into the air and shake his fist, but I still think it’s cool.
So this is a highly questionable video of some dude filming some other dudes in hazmat suits finding a mermaid body in the water and trying to move it by putting it on a blanket and carrying it away in a very inept way. The guy filming talks about military people all over the place, but I’m calling BS. If that were true, everybody would be flocking in to see mermaid boobies. Mermaid boobies are the holy grail of boobies. No one wants to miss a sight like that. Man, that’s some nice tail though.
Pack a lunch in this Bigfoot Lunchbox. I’m gonna pack a honking huge Sasquatch sammich. Along with some Yeti Yogurt. You can take this hiking in the forest too, so that when Bigfoot attacks you while eating, he can know how famous he is. It will probably make him smile. Then he’ll go back to killing you and then sit and enjoy your lunch. Then take this lunchbox home to his kid.
This Alien Money Clip is all about the Benjamins son. Or in my case Washingtons. I lied. It’s currently holding bills of the Chuck E Cheese and Monopoly variety. Forget your cash register and put that in your sass register. Keep the change! It’s all good though. This clip gets me a free stay at the Ale-E-Inn. Haha. Little play on words there. Yes, my jokes are so bad I have to explain them. Whatevs. Dollar dollar bills y’all! No, really, can I pay by check cuz all I have is like two dollar bills? That’s all I have on me, plus an Amazon dash button for Snickers bars for some reason.