Two Headed ChupacabraThe world has known many mythical terrors: Bigfoot, The Jersey Devil, The Loch Ness Monster, Miley Cyrus, and of course El Chupacabra. Some say this creature is a government experiment gone wrong. Others speculate that aliens dropped him off on our planet. Personally, I think a stray dog got some bad Taco Bell and instead of getting the three-alarm intestinal fire/three rolls of Charmin runs, like the rest of us, it got horribly mutated instead. What the hell do they put in that stuff?

Two Headed Chupacabra
Anyway, here’s your chance to own a two headed goat-sucker and mount that baby on the wall. It is just $400 on Etsy. If I have the math right, and I’m pretty sure I do,(Been taking some online courses between video games and blogging) that’s just $200 a head.

That’s apparently a great deal because I remember going for a Sunday drive with my dad one day long ago when I was young. I remember him talking to a nice woman whose boobs were leaning in the car window. I remember Dad said, and I quote, “$300? Where do you get off charging so much for head? I’ll just take the whole package.” After that dad and “Daddy’s trainer” would wrestle for dominance in the back seat, while he “trained for the wrestling team”. I would be glued to my Gameboy. Good times….That Gameboy remains my best and one true friend. My sanctuary.