guinea pigEbay seller *zack*adams wants to be your Guinea Pig. Just look at this guy. He’s begging to be put through the wringer. Look at him…shopping for linoleum? Or is that a fancy restroom?

guinea pig
Here he is traveling the world looking for the perfect scientist that can use his sorry Gold’s Gym Loving self. He’s all like “Yeah! Flex ’em! Travel is awesome bro”.

He says:

I’m simply running out of options, and that’s why I’m here now and posting this ad.

I’m secretive.
I have High tolerance for pain.
I am patient and easy going.
High educated.
Traveled around the world. (over 18 countries)

I would simply be your lab rat for the right price.

All option will be considered.

Email me with your offer and price.

Secretive eh? I guess you won’t tell anyone if I stick fiery hot sauce all over your face, draw a line down your face and put bees on one side, fire ants on the other. I want to see if they A)fight over the hot sauce, B)Don’t care, C)I’m curious to see whether I can get one species or both to shave that beard off your face.
guinea pig
Here is a pic that gave me the idea of putting him in a zoo for businessmen. I want to see how they adapt to the wild and if they operate on any kind of hierarchy. Specifically, can I get them to pick dingleberries off of each other.

You won’t be so patient and easy going after I take my syringe and give you a series of shots(all placebos) and then tell you they were full of girl hormones, then laugh when you start acting like a sissy. Later I will tell you I shot you full of sugar water and laugh.

Anyway grab your purse and high heels Zack. I’m about to email you and put you through your paces.