When you take a Brawny sized dump, you need a Brawny sized roll of Toilet Paper. Or to quote Fat Bastard himself, “I’m not kiddin’. I’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Aww, it’s SQUIDGY. Christ, I’m gettin’ all emotional from it, ya know?”
A wide and very wise man. If you find yourself in the stall next to his foul stench, don’t even ask, because he doesn’t have an 11 inch square to spare.