This Chick Magnet might be just the thing to get the ladies. That’s what a chick magnet is right? It’s crazy enough that it just might work. Woman sees chick, is impressed and that chick hangs around, thinks I have good taste in fridge magnets. Then we live happily ever after, calling each other chicken head. That’s a love story right there.
These taxidermy magnets are ethically sourced and totally whacked. All I know is that I need more chicken heads in my life. Cuz I’m weird like that.
Slinky Rabbit. It’s Slinky. It’s Slinky. It’s such a wonderful toy. Slinky! Slinky! It brings more terror than joy! WTF yo! Is it a toy or taxidermy? It’s both. Somehow. Made from a freeze-dried rabbit by the way. In case you were wondering. Imagine this thing slinking around and chasing you. They say it died of natural causes, but I have to wonder if those natural causes were a madman and an ax. They say that children are our future, and maybe. But the future has some f**ked up toys. What ever happened to wholesome toys like Monster Cereal catnip toys? You can’t escape the slinky rabbit.
Checkmate! More like check pulse. You won’t find any. My dead army just beat your dead army. And if both armies are dead, what the hell is even the point? The Taxidermy Mouse Chess Set lets you play the classic game with a bunch of dead, but very well dressed mice. Sounds like a fun way to keep others away. That reminds me, I have to go check my traps so I can complete my own set.
People love monster stories. Any decent story told involves a monster. Just ask my ex-wife. There are reports of chupacabra sightings in the Americas and eerie stories of body part trails left behind by these blood-sucking creatures. But we have never discovered a Chupacabra corpse. Until now…
Imagine having a Chupacabra corpse lying around the house. The corpse is so well sculpted out of paper pulp clay, paper mache, and polymer clay, no one will fail to believe that you actually met and killed a Chupacabra. With professional mask hair, acrylic hair and good craftsmanship, it is so realistic it will scare you at night.
Look who it is. The rodent of my nightmares. The Freddy Kreuger taxidermy Mouse. He will haunt your dreams and search for cheese. If he doesn’t find any cheese, he’ll just nibble on your soul. Sadly, mousetraps don’t work in the dream world. So good luck with this guy. I just won’t sleep.