Category: Creepy Dolls

Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll – Macabre Mycelium

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Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll - Macabre Mycelium

I think I saw something like this Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll once when I was trippin’ balls. It taught me the ways of the forest and had me eat all of it’s friends. Man, I spent a year in the forest that weekend. Look at this gal with her deathly bonnet. This is what Tim Burton’s Little House on the Prairie looks like. Growing in the shade of a tree, just waiting for something to pass by so she can be all deadly.

Unlike these skull mushrooms, this Mushroom Skeleton Art Doll is deadly cute. Dare I say sexy? We would get along good, cuz I’m also a fun-guy. Did I hear one of you groan at that joke? Oh spore me! Like you could do better. Mycelium is better than your-celium.

Let Them Eat Cake Horror Doll

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Let Them Eat Cake Horror Doll
We’ve seen our share of creepy dolls, but this one takes the cake, or, eh… Let’s Them Eat Cake. This Let Them Eat Cake Horror Doll is a recreation of Marie Antoinette’s fate. Made of porcelain, this piece has a fully functioning guillotine and stands 24″ high and 22″ long. It also comes with a before picture before she was marched to the guillotine. That’s pretty thoughtful. You get a bit of horror and you get a bit of history. This pairs well with the guillotine necklace and will look great displayed with your other amazingly odd items.

I don’t know what the big deal is. If some chick declares that we can all eat cake, I’m down with that. Cake is delicious and I even like some of its songs. Because it’s also a music artist right? Ain’t no reason for heads to roll. Poor Marie. I hope she got some cake as a last meal. Let’s all honor the woman who just wanted to share cake with the world with this Let Them Eat Cake Horror Doll.

Miniature LED Ghost Dolls Are Spooktacular

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Miniature LED Ghost Dolls Are Spooktacular
Damn, that’s spooky. These Miniature LED Ghost Dolls are amazing. They have that ethereal glow that only comes from the afterlife. They come in 4 different poses, and all will scare the bejesus out of you. For real. I used to be full of bejesus, and now it’s gone. Where’d my bejesus go? Maybe it went to church. It’s about time. Mom’s always bugging me about it. Well, at least part of me went. At 1:12 scale, these will be perfect for creating a haunted doll house or a cool Halloween diorama that will get all of the attention. I’m gonna put these in my haunted doll house. I mean- Not mine. My friends. I don’t play with dolls. They’re called action figures and they’re collectable!

You have to love the ghostly glow on these LED Ghost Dolls. They levitate, they sit. The cast an eerie glow that seems to steal the warmth from your body. They send chills down my spine. Oh, wait, that might just be because I’m hiding in my refrigerator. Are they gone? The wi-fi in here sucks by the way. These dolls scare me almost as much as a screaming ghost head in a box.

Barbie – Shave And Play

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Shave And Play Barbie
Barbie goes Au Naturel with Shave And Play Barbie. You know Barbie? This is her slightly less-groomed cousin, Borbie. Borbie has a singular talent. Rapid and excessive hair growth. Testosterone overload! How fast can you grow a beard? Doesn’t matter. You’ve got nothing on Borbie. She discovered this propensity for body hair during the great pandemic of 2020. She had nowhere to go, no one to see, and not a soul to impress. “Why not let it all go?” she asked herself. Why not, indeed? One week of neglecting the razor soon led to two, then three, then an entire year went by. Sasquatch sightings were on the rise. Borbie was liberated. Free of the restraints of grooming, she celebrated her flowing body hair just like anyone else, with a mini dress and colorful eyeshadow. Hey, what’s wrong with that? Works for me. She has more hair on her face than a wolfman and more hair on her chest than a… manly man. I’m not even gonna talk about that other area. Also check out Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Like a true Karen, she sees everything. Whether she then asks for the manager I can’t say. But good luck finding eyewear at Pearlvision biatch.

Cyclops Fashion Barbie – Hey My Eye Is Up Here

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Cyclops Fashion Barbie - Hey My Eye Is Up Here

Meet Cyclops Fashion Barbie. Time for a makeover, Barbie! What’s that? You want bigger eyes? Turn up ALL the filters, because you’re about to get your wish. Why have two small eyes, when you could have… One. Bigass. Eyeball? All-seeing? What is there for Barbie to see, anyway? Ken’s gone, the dream house has burned, and all she’s got is her looks. Keep looking, Barbie. Maybe you’ll find another plastic sucker like Ken to gold-dig! All you ever do is take take take! I’m done. You never ask me about MY day. *sobs*.

I don’t have issues, you have issues.

Keep your eye on this one, folks. She’s got her eye on you. Dress her up. Take her out. Or keep her in the corner looking creepy. Cyclops Fashion Barbie, includes terrifying, yet stylish accessories, batteries sold separately. Because, trust me, you don’t want this one coming to life. Just like these other creepy dolls.