This Moth Man Plant Pot is all kinds of awesome. F-ing awesome. Damn awesome. Super duper triple nipple awesome. (What?) Some plants prefer to grow in the darkness and it doesn’t get any darker than growing out of Mothman himself. Plus it makes this cryptid look super amazeballs with spiky hair. He’s gonna be a real hit with the ladies now. Mothman on the prowl yall. On the prowl and making ladies howl.
Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Plant
Damn, this Nightmare On Elm Street Freddy Krueger Plant is terrifying. You can’t just buy this at your local grocery store. Otherwise, it would be called Freddy Kroger. Get it? That would be a pretty cool store mascot actually. Nightmare on aisle 5 yall! And also clean up. Cuz there’s a lot of blood. Anyway, this Freddy plant is terrifying. Whether you have a green thumb or not, you gonna have no thumb after you water it.
Gothic Storage Jars Put Bats In Your Belfry
These Gothic Storage Jars fill your kitchen with enough bats to drive you batty. Sugar, tea, and coffee storage jars never looked so good. I had no idea they made storage jars for this stuff. I can finally get rid of those mounds of sugar on my counter. I’ll have to sift out the ants first, but totally worth it. These are going to look great in my kitchen. You can never have too many bats. Go Goth or go home!
Demon Hit By Dart Magnet – You Win
Demon hunting is hard. But it’s much easier when you can get ’em in front of the dartboard. This Demon Hit By Dart Magnet wins you the game every time. Hitting the bullseye doesn’t mean crap unless you impale a demon on the way there. You have to give it to the creator of this magnet. It looks awesome. That’s some great execution! Get it? If this demon enjoyed beer it would be an impaled ale. Know what I’m sayin’? I’m out. Gotta go play some demon darts.
Canned Mermaids – Sardine Dames
Who wants a tin of canned mermaids? Looks pretty crowded in there. I bet these dames are tasty though. Very salty probably. I like the old-timey hair. That’s how you know they’ve been in there for a while. Well, that and the smell. Okay, close that up! Oh crap, you can’t close the tin once it’s opened. It smells like the ocean farted. Open a window and grab my gas mask. Look st them! A chorus line of ca-ca fouling my space!
At first, I thought they were canned, as in fired. But then I wondered why you never see any mermaid maids. Then I fell asleep and spilled my whiskey. Thought I peed myself, but nope. Then squeezed the crotch area on my pants and recycled my drink. So it’s been a full day.