Category: Sloppy Sellers

This Guy Is The Ultimate eBay Pitchman

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This Guy Is The Ultimate eBay Pitchman
This guy rocks the hell out of eBay. He must be selling stuff like crazy.

The title: Star Wars.

Is it a car? An action figure? A poster? Who knows.

The listing says only: “It’s new the package is mess up”

No sh*t! The package is “mess up”. The package is gone. It’s just the bubble with the figure inside. Dude don’t care! He’s got no shirt, probably no pants on either and has a smoke going. All right there in his trailer park kitchen. Every item the dude sells is like this. He’s the honey badger of eBay. He don’t care!

He’s like, “Look, I’m half naked, just got up and you want this $2 item or not? I got a beer can collection to admire!”

Thanks for the tip Jeremy.

Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar

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painted skeleton guitar
This Custom Painted Skeleton Guitar is pretty cool. Bands and singers that use this? Well, there’s PElvis Presley of course. Bone Thugs N Harmony. Spinal Tap. Just to name a few. Pretty awesome.

But what really freaks me out is the second image below. It’s like a friggin’ I Spy game. Everytime I thought I spotted everything, I found something else. Would it kill ya to clean up when we come over? I spy with my little eye:

A ghost child or apparition on the left.
A coffin bookcase.
A bust with one arm.
A tan dog’s feet.
A black dog asleep. (Are they both just one big dog?)
A used tissue.
Oh and a skeleton guitar.

Play along in the comments. Did I miss anything?
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Spend A Night Getting Drunk With This Guy

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hang out with drunk guy
For $500 you can spend a night on the town, getting drunk with this Darwin award winner. If you are in the Los Angeles area. He has a list of the fun stuff you will do together:

-Human Airplanes
-Human Pyramids
-Drink Beer next to Cars
-Get 86’d from a bar
-Beer Bongs
-Become Friends
-Keg Stands

Check out the last picture below and you’ll see that the “human pyramid” is actually some sort of demonic ritual, where they form some kind of Voltron beast to corner their prey. I have no idea what kind of dark magic is going on there, but the demon in back appears to be holding a dirty diaper in a bag.

So yeah, if hanging out with drunk and demonic forces is your idea of a fun time, go for it, but you and I both know that after he’s done using you in his dark rituals, he’s going to send you home with a free mullet and a peen drawn on your face in permanent marker too.
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I Like My AC With JC: Jesus Face In Rusty Air Conditioner

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Jesus face on air conditionerFind Jesus for $100. Can you spot him? Spoiler alert: It’s a lot simpler than that Where’s Waldo game, which I have yet to master. He’s right there! Using his Son of God powers to chill your air.

What Would Jesus Do? For a start, he would clean that yard. Maybe plant some flowers. Just because you found Jesus, that doesn’t mean that your neighbors want to look at a bunch of trash. Jesus may turn the other cheek, but not me. I expect an orderly yard if I’m going to make the pilgrimage all the way out to redneck-Nazareth to worship JC on the AC.

Say, if I buy this thing, can I get that weed whacker for $5?

More pics below.
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Indian Ghost Haunts Children’s Book

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indian bookNo doubt upset by the fact that we took their land and no longer even include profiles of them on our currency, Indians have taken to haunting our children’s books. The seller says:
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