Angler Fish Tooth Fairy, Breaking Teeth and Stealing Dreams

angler tooth fairyThis “Tooth Fairy” from Etsy seller VodouBambola isn’t fooling anyone. Much like the Angler Fish, who uses a fleshy growth on it’s head to lure victims into it’s gaping jaws of death, this “Tooth Fairy” does much the same thing.

It lays in wait, floating in the ethereal other-world between life and death where all of the tooth fairies live. It feigns death and dangles it’s tooth appendage, waiting for real tooth fairies to happen by and take the bait. Looking like nothing more than the corpse of a Shy Guy.
angler tooth fairy
Just drifting. Nothing to be afraid of here. Just a shy guy corpse that lost it’s color. When tooth fairies see a tooth, they are blinded to everything else, so they don’t pay attention to anything. When a tooth fairy, who is basically a brain dead minimum wage entity(Who the f**k trades hard cash for teeth?) goes for the tooth, this predator strikes.
angler tooth fairy
The Angler Tooth Fairy uses his huge row of redneck teeth to subdue the victim, then hypnotizes the prey. He then proceeds to beat the victim about the head with it’s stubby arms until it’s teeth are all floating in the void. This nasty little bastard then opens his pouch marked “teeth” and collects ’em all up like a freaky little demon hopped up on speed and pixie sticks, giggling and dancing around like some acid induced dream that doesn’t understand itself, gets enlightened, finds God, then goes freakin bonkers again, before realizing it’s just a hoarder and closing his pouch with a sigh and a fart.

He jams that little vial into his victims skull and steals it’s dreams, turning them to powder, which he will snort soon enough. The whole experience depresses the Angler Tooth Fairy, so he undoes the cap and takes a hit of bath salts and goes off to find fresh hunting grounds. The Angler Tooth Fairy. Natures A-hole.

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