Tired of cleaning up duck poop? Me too. It’s everywhere. My pet duck refuses to clean up after itself. You ever seen a duck poop 5 inch mounds all over the carpet? I should probably stop feeding it hamburger helper and Mountain Dew. This patriotic duck diaper harness should help.

But then I would have to change him like a baby. I have enough trouble keeping my own butt poop free. Again, it’s probably the Hamburger helper and mountain dew.

Wait- I feel like such an idiot. Those 5 inch mounds of molten lava-rhea are mine. *Duck stares at me* I’m not apologizing. I’m not. Duck you.