Do we really need nature’s long land rats outfitted with the wings of nature’s flying rats? I’m not qualified to answer that. But that time has come. These Bat-Wing Harnesses For Ferrets will give ferrets the ability to fly or at least look bad-ass instead of looking like furry snakes with legs. Enjoy your new flying ferrets people.
Tag: pets
Mew-Berry! – Monster Cereal Catnip Toys
I love me some Boo-Berry, also some Count Chocula and Frankenberry. So I think it’s time to share the high that I get from these cereals with my cat. These Monster cereal Catnip Toys look just like little fluffy boxes of cereal. *Throws them down for my cat to play with. Mr. Whiskers starts playing. Then starts rolling around all drunk, rubbing up against them. Then starts darting around the house, freaking out.* Glad you like them. Now my turn. *Pours myself a bowl of Boo-Berry. Eats. Climbs on the table, rolling around all drunk….* Oh yeah. That’s the stuff!
Ouija Board For Pets
This Ouija Board For Pets aka talking board will help your dog, cat, lizard and whatever the hell else you have, communicate with you. Or you can use the planchette to talk to your departed animals. Spoiler alert! You know what they all say? Feed me! Dead or alive, they all want the same thing. I don’t need a damn ouija board to tell me what my cat is thinking. He tells me just fine. Scratching up my furniture means he’s an a-hole, coughing up a hairball means he’s an a-hole, not that he’s sick, and jumping on my face in the morning doesn’t mean he’s hungry. He just wants to remind me that he’s an a-hole. That board only needs one large space reading A-HOLE.
Jewish Outfit For Your Dog: Oy Vey
This Jewish Outfit For Your Dog is perfect for your Jewish dog. Just make sure you check your dog’s religion first. You don’t want to get this for your Catholic dog. It’s perfect for your dogs Pup Mitzvah.
Hey, you get to practice your religion, why shouldn’t dogs be able to practice theirs? Dogs are about more than just sniffing butts to say hello and humping legs to also say hello, you know. Geesh, throw your dog a bone and give him some religious freedom already. God is just dog spelled backwards ya know. I have to say these dogs sure know how to rock this outfit. The pair in the middle look sad that they can’t wear it.
Twinkle Tush: Jewelry For You Cat’s Butt
Twinkle Tush. It’s no longer just a crude name shouted at me by construction workers, accompanied by whistles and catcalls. It’s my own fault for sewing bicycle reflectors into the butts of cut-off jeans. Hey, I like to walk at night. Safety first, fashion last. Anyway, Twinkle Tush is also shiny cat jewelry. I’m talkin’ ice. Bling bling. For your cat’s puckered butt-ring.
True to it’s name, it makes your cat’s butt twinkle like a Solid Gold Dancer. Did I date myself with that sentence? In that case, Imma go cuddle myself and have a smoke now. Maybe stroke my hair and whisper, then fall asleep. Was it good for me? It was the best baby.
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