Some people in Ohio are getting all bothered about this guy’s Zombie Nativity scene. What’s wrong with celebrating the holiday with baby zombie Jesus? It’s not like the kid bit anyone yet. Still, I know how they feel. 8 days left until Star Wars: The Force Awakens! Woo-Hoo! Which is how I got in trouble for expressing my right to free speech too. Neighbors don’t like a fat guy in the front yard, made up to look like Jabba The Hutt, with a kitty in Slave Leia outfit chained to him. Damn, that kitty can choke ya too. Strong little bugger. I usually pass out once a night with that chain around my neck.

Seriously people, chill. If anyone has a problem with this nativity scene, or my celebration of Star Wars, you can go suck an egg. I always wanted to say that. Has anyone actually ever sucked an egg? Not me. I’m no egg-sucker, you mother-trucker, just ask my buddy Mark Zucker-nerd.
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