Your friends and family might not believe your alien abduction story, but don’t worry, we do. No need to show us your wrecked-um. Commemorate the event with this UFO Abduction pendant for your necklace! These pendants are hand-sculpted and have a glow-in-the-dark beam on the front (ultra cool). It comes with a cord, but you can put it on any necklace. And if those butt-buggers come back for you, they will know that you know cuz they’ll see this pendant. It ain’t gonna stop no butt-stuff, but they may think twice. I’m inventing a butt gun that attaches in your underwear so that when somebody pulls your pants down and spreads your mud-cheeks they get blasted. Problem is that in testing I keep shooting the toilet out from under me when I take a s**t.