Michelle Martin is a brilliant lady. She takes Cabbage Patch Kids, which are already disturbing, and turns them into Garbage Pail Kids, which are even more disturbing. If you want to buy one you can check out the link above. Yeah, these are not your mother’s Cabbage Patch Kids that she beat other adults over the head for and served time for back in the day. Crazy times.
Beating yourself senseless over a doll is not a good idea. Unless it’s a love doll and you are just trying to get one out real quick while you’re alone. But I digress. These monstrosities don’t come with smiles and sweet little adoption papers. These Garbage Pail Kids only come with two things. Crazy mutations and (I’m guessing) a lot of emotional baggage.