Creepy And Cool Garbage Pail Kids Art Prints

Creepy And Cool Garbage Pail Kids Art
These Garbage Pail Kids Art Prints from cultclassicsaz are pretty cool. When I was a kid, I used to think Garbage Pail Kids were the dudes responsible for picking up the trash from the curb. Everytime I would see the trash guy I would be like, “Where’s your kids?” and the dude would ignore me. So I asked again and again and again, every trash day. “Where’s your kids mister?” “I want to see your kids!” “What did you do with your kids?”

Until the dude picked me up by my shirt and said, “You wanna know where my kids are? My kids live with their mother cuz I’m a loser and I drink too much. I’m 3 months behind on alimony and I’m a s**t human being. I regret my entire life. My kids are better off, that’s where they are. Tonight I’m gonna go home and drink until I pass out. Then I’m gonna do the same day over again and wonder where my kids are myself ya little puke. Now get out of here!”

Mommy! Mommy! I think I found daddy!
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Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes

Weird Garbage Pail Kids Scenes
Etsy seller Youmadewhat sells all kinds of little dioramas in plastic boxes, including these Garbage Pail Kids scenes. Too bad there’s no woman who will ever have kids with me. I would name them GPK names. Stuff like Ivana Suckyourblood or Grease Witherspoon. Maybe even Bruce Jender-Bender. Cleveland Steamer? Dim and Dough Kardashian?

But alas, I’m doomed to endless nights of Netflix binge watching and waking up with a sugar coma next to a Ben and Jerrys pyramid so perfect I blame ancient aliens. Whatevs. I got you guys right? Right? Guys? *sigh*
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Garbage Pail Kids Flats

Garbage Pail Kids Flats
Is your name Atom Bomb? Elaine Vein? Wally Tamale? These Garbage Pail Kids Flats are for you. They have Garbage Pail Kids printed all over them. Actually, these are for women. Sorry guys. You’ll have to find some GPK shoes elsewhere.
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Garbage Pail Kids As Adults

garbage pail kids as adults
Damn. Garbage Pail Kids is real peeps! My wife is all like, “Yeah I know. I’m living with one.” And I’m all like, atom bomb exploding from the head. St. Louis-based photographer Brandon Voges and digital imaging artist Jordan Gaunce worked together to create these real life GPK. I mean they could have just sent a photographer to my house, but whatevs.

These are the Garbage Pail Kids as adults, thirty years later. Pretty cool. GPK. It’s a lifestyle baby! You just can’t stick me on the fridge.
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Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals

Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals
Garbage Pail Kids Nail Decals. Pretty cool. I have some names I just thought up. Manny Cure. Cutey Cull. Fungus Cyde. Heh. I got a million of ’em. But only ten nails. It’s like my daddy used to say, “You can’t build a house with only ten nails, but you can scratch your neighbor’s wife’s back and lay a good foundation.” I miss daddy. So wise. So horny. For the neighbor’s wife.

Anywho, now you can adopt some of these dumpster rugrats and put ’em right on your fingernails. Awesome. Another day, another blog post. Nailed it.
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