It’s Come To This – Christmas Tree Eyebrows

It's Come To This - Christmas Tree Eyebrows
This is peak humanity right here. If ants trapped on the tips of your fingers aren’t enough, get ready for this holiday season’s stupidest human tricks: Christmas Tree Eyebrows. People all over Instagram are turning their eyebrows into Christmas trees. This one here looks like two comets coming together to create another Starbucks customer. I guess you gotta do something creative with those two gold stars she earned from her vocab class. Another stupid trend. I’m surprised they’re not hanging giant ornaments from these eyebrows that block their vision too.

I would kiss that mouth though if she hung some mistletoe from her nose. What’s with the glowing “Omega” symbol in her eyes? Is she Illuminati? Now I can’t unsee it and this chick is really freaking me out. I think I may have just been programmed.

Garbage Patch Runts: Custom Garbage Pail Kids Made From Cabbage Patch Dolls

Garbage Pail kids dollsMichelle Martin is a brilliant lady. She takes Cabbage Patch Kids, which are already disturbing, and turns them into Garbage Pail Kids, which are even more disturbing. If you want to buy one you can check out the link above. Yeah, these are not your mother’s Cabbage Patch Kids that she beat other adults over the head for and served time for back in the day. Crazy times.

Beating yourself senseless over a doll is not a good idea. Unless it’s a love doll and you are just trying to get one out real quick while you’re alone. But I digress. These monstrosities don’t come with smiles and sweet little adoption papers. These Garbage Pail Kids only come with two things. Crazy mutations and (I’m guessing) a lot of emotional baggage.
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